Healing Father Wounds

Healing Father Wounds

It has come to my attention that many people in our fellowship have what are now popularly called “Father Wounds.” That being the case, I thought maybe you also might be interested in how to heal these wounds. As a wholeness and healing practitioner, I have some observations.

This is what I repeatedly see.

  1.  You have a need for love and intimacy but never feel like you have obtained it.
  2.  You have difficulty being intimate and transparent.
  3.  You cannot imagine yourself in the presence of Father God.
  4.  You cannot imagine yourself hugged by father God.
  5.  You cannot imagine yourself in this throne room standing before father God.
  6.  You do not believe that God is your father.
  7.  You do not believe that you are worthy of god’s love.
  8.  You do not believe that God likes you.
  9.  You believe that you were created unlovable
  10.  You believe that you are not worthy to have a father’s love.
  11.  That somehow it’s all your fault.

This type of wound cripples your life.  It won’t allow you true intimacy in fellowship with others. It stops you from being a self-starter on any project or creativity you were involved in because you believe you’re not worthy.

It’s actually one of Satan’s strategies. It started at the end of World war II. Men came home from the war so shocked and traumatized that they withdrew. They believed that they could not talk about it. They believed it was inappropriate to talk about it. The result was a whole generation of men who couldn’t connect with others.  Hence, children didn’t have models as to what a loving and interactive father is.

The trauma these men had manifested an iniquity. The root of iniquity is a character defect. As an example, there is a long line of alcoholism in my family. Alcoholism was a visible sin. However, my family was taught to swallow emotions. Hence the character defect was our inability to express our feelings. Because we did not talk about difficult emotions, we drank and ate to comfort ourselves.

Heal Painful Memories

The first is to take your painful memories to the Lord and let him take the pain. There’s a specific protocol I use. But, it’s as simple as standing before Him and letting Him lift the pain out of your hands.

Once you’ve done the first step you will be amazed our how easy it is to forgive. Which is the second step.


Exodus 34:7
Keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin,  but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

Numbers 14:18
The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity
and transgression,
but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.’

What’s the first thing mentioned in those scriptures? Love and forgiveness! Forgiveness is a significant step to your own freedom. If you don’t forgive that iniquity will be carried on through you to your next generation.

The next steps are found in Matthew 7.

Remove Judgement

1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

6“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Instead of pointing the finger at your Dad and saying “You did this to me.” Ask the Lord to show you your Father’s pain. Ask for a miracle from the Lord. See your father’s pain.  Offer your father mercy. Understand that you may have to do this in your imagination because he made be dead or absent. Removing judgment from him will also start the process of removing judgment from your future generations.

Seek Love and Peace

Isaiah says to seek the Lord while he may be found. Hebrews says do not delay in entering his rest. There is actually a time limit on your ability to heal and clean this situation. If there is an unction in your heart to do so I encourage you to diligently seek after The Lord today.

  1. Ask the Lord to show you his love.
  2. Tell the Lord you desire intimacy with him and ask him to show it to you. It is very important to develop intimacy with God. I recommend Katharine Wang’s course on intimacy with God. At the writing of this blog, February 2021, she is just completing it and it should be up on the web soon. Here’s the link https://www.atcuniversity.com/
  3. Just like the widow knocking on the judge’s door, don’t be afraid to repeat yourself. Knock until he answers you.

One thing I know for sure, he will answer you. I guarantee you that he will show you his love and intimacy if you let him. It’s up to you.

An abundance of blessings to you,