Helping Others Overcome Self Pity and a Victim Spirit

I spend a significant amount of my time facilitating healing sessions. I have about 10 years of experience. (Sorry, if you are interested, I am full right now.) Since 2013, people paralyzed by self-pity and victimization seems to be repeating scenario in my life. I see many similarities in each of their stories and lifestyles.

To familiarize you with what I am saying, I will tell about three of them. Six years ago I was on what we call a bench of three. It was my first experience doing kingdom ascension on a regular basis. When you put such a group together, you need to build relationship before you do too much work. In creating relationship you build trust and understanding with one another. But, there comes a time when you gotta get to work. Most of the groups I’m involved in allow for 30 minutes to say hello, how are you, and what has God been doing in your life. Then you get down to business. You know you’re in trouble when someone in the group regularly commandeers the meeting for their personal problems week after week after week. And that’s exactly what happened with this group. One of the women repeatedly took the whole meeting to tell about her latest crisis. Her husband was two-timing her. She’d been evicted from her home. Her church wouldn’t let her advance in leadership. She was financially devastated and so on. I would offer to do healing sessions with her. But the answer always was no. She would tell me that she was just fine

Another case was a man in our fellowship. Again, he would commandeer our meetings with his personal problems. He was in a car accident. He son had died 20 years ago and he was still grieving. He was in an accident at work. And another child of his had cancer. He was financially devastated. Again, I would offer to ascend with him and facilitate healing sessions. Basically, I offered to help in whatever he needed. Repeatedly, his answer was that he was always too busy and we could get to it later.

And recently, I’m finding it in another group I’m involved in. There’s a woman who has been sabotaging our meetings off and on for almost 2 years. Her family doesn’t love her and leaves her alone. When she does see her sisters, all they do is criticize her. She has little or no friends. She lived through a terrible marriage and doesn’t trust men. She’s always in pain and it doesn’t go away. Her health problems are never conquered.  When I offer healing sessions to her, her answer is that she and God have been doing them together. She doesn’t feel that she needs to involve another person.

Notice some of the similarities:

  •   Their lives are ridiculed with one negative experience after another
  •   They always have an excuse why they won’t accept help
  •   They do not trust
  •   They do not feel loved
  •   They do not have joy
  •   They do not have peace
  •   They do not have faith that their situation will change or that they can overcome any of it
  •   In most cases, they have chosen to isolate themselves
  •   In most cases, they’re full of depression
  •   They don’t believe that anyone has suffered as much as they have and people just don’t       understand
  •   They rarely accept responsibility for their actions and it’s never their fault

There are many reasons for recurring crisis and trauma in someone’s life. But in these cases, they create a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. Especially when it comes to loneliness. They lived through repeated cycles of new people taking an interest in them and trying to help them. But eventually, those people give up because they just don’t know what to do to help. And, candidly, people get tired of their meetings being high-jacked by someone who lives in a state of waa, waa. Plus, the self-pity and victim spirit has to be healed in order to identify the other causes.

These people are stuck in a never ending cycle that I call the pressure cooker cycle. They find a place or group that allows them to vent. That lets the pressure off for a day or two. It builds back up again and they have to find another place to vent. But nothing ever gets solved. They are very immature. When it comes to the overall state of their lives, they never grow up into mature Christians. They are to be overcomers, not victims. They’re supposed to be full of joy and peace, not self-pity and depression.

There’s also another cycle that you will see and it’s one of the reasons why they don’t mature. It’s a simple one and pretty obvious if their paying attention. Do you ever wonder why some people have more crisis and trauma than others? Well, one reason is the waa, waa. Satan is going to send messengers and set up situations that repeatedly trigger that person to enter into self-pity and being a victim. Satan never has to worry about them being a threat to him because they have let pain and depression become their friends. They are no threat to him whatsoever as long as they choose to wrap themselves in negative emotions.

Simply, the more you mature, the less trauma and depression you have.

This is a long post. I have given you a lot to think about. In the next entry, I will give you a protocol to help people in this kind of bondage.